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Saturday, 28 February 2015

[Flash Fiction] Everything Has A Price



Hujan. 

Terkadang, ia mengingatkan kita pada masa lalu. Sebagian orang menyukainya – suasana sejuk dan tentram yang tercipta oleh suara gemericik air dan bau tanah. Sedangkan bagiku, yang ada hanyalah rasa amarah dan dendam, suara rintihan, dan bau karat. Aku termasuk sebagian orang lainnya. 

Oh, tidak. Aku tidak hanya membenci hujan. 

Aku ingin membunuhnya. 

Tinggal di kota yang selalu diguyur hujan pun menjadi penderitaan tersendiri bagiku, apalagi saat sedang terjebak hujan seperti saat ini. Seakan dipenjarakan bersama musuh bebuyutanmu.

"Wah, hujan, lagi," komentar seseorang yang juga terperangkap di penjara siksaan ini. 

Aku meliriknya sekilas, tetap mempertahankan ekspresi datarku. Pria berjaket abu-abu itu membalas lirikanku, dan ekspresinya berubah, sangat kontras dengan ekspresiku. 

"Max?" sapanya tak percaya.

Aku hanya menganggukkan kepalaku sekali, tidak begitu menghiraukannya. 

Pria itu menatapku lekat-lekat, membuatku merasa risih seketika. "Wow! Long time no see! Apa kabar? Kau terlihat sangat berbeda."

Aku mendengus dalam hati. Tentu saja aku berubah. Dan siapa yang bertanggung jawab akan hal itu? Seharusnya tidak ada, karena segala hal dalam hidup ini tidak luput dari perubahan. Tapi, yang satu ini berbeda. Someone was responsible. 

"Seperti yang kau lihat, aku baik-baik saja," sahutku datar. Seperti biasa, aku selalu berpura-pura semuanya baik-baik saja. Itu yang dilakukan semua orang, bukan? Hidup ini seperti sandiwara, dan manusia adalah aktornya. 

Well, aku tidak selalu begini. Ada alasan di balik setiap hal yang terjadi dalam hidup ini – baik yang menyenangkan maupun menyakitkan, dan aku adalah salah satu korban dari alasan yang menyakitkan tersebut. 

Pria itu melangkah pelan ke arahku, membuat tanganku otomatis mencengkeram saku jaket. "Are you sure you're okay?" tanyanya. Sekelibat rasa cemas terpancar dari kedua bola matanya, membuatku memutar bola mata. Perlukah kuulang kalau hidup ini hanyalah sandiwara? 

Pria itu mendesah. "Look, I know it's been long time, but I never got a chance to tell you that I'm really sorry. I never meant to–"

And there he goes. Momen yang tidak pernah kunantikan. Penjelasan yang tidak perlu kudengar. Pria itu terus mengoceh, dan kini suaranya mulai terdengar seperti dengungan lebah yang membuat telingaku sakit. 

Aku pun memutuskan untuk membungkamnya. "Aku tidak perlu penjelasan," selaku mantap. 

Ocehan pria itu pun tergantikan oleh suara rintihan yang familiar, yang selalu datang diantar hujan. Tatapan hangat pria itu membeku, bukan karena dinginnya udara hari ini. Bau karat pun ikut menguar bersamanya. Dan sedetik kemudian, pria itu berlutut di hadapanku. 

Aku tersenyum bengis. "Yang kuperlukan hanyalah pelampiasan," lanjutku sambil menarik benda silver yang sudah berpindah tempat dari sakuku ke saku pria itu. 

Aku pun mulai kehilangan kendali. Aku terus mengulang apa yang baru saja kulakukan sambil mengoceh panjang lebar – menuangkan semua isi kepalaku.

"That's for leaving us to suffer alone." 

"That's for being coward." 

"That's for letting Jim go."  

"That's for ruining my life."

Suara rintihan itu terdengar semakin lemah, dan bau karat tercium semakin pekat. Tetapi, apa yang kurasakan bertolak belakang. Dendam telah terbalaskan. Amarah telah terlampiaskan. Akhirnya, ia merasakan apa yang kami rasakan – sakit dan ketidakberdayaan, seperti saat ia meninggalkan Jim yang terluka parah dan aku yang berusaha menyelamatkan Jim. 

Aku mencabut benda silver itu dari saku kemejanya – yang telah berubah warna menjadi merah marun, dan kembali menancapkannya untuk yang terakhir kali. 

Six stabs in the heart to pay what he had done. 

"Max–" panggilnya dengan susah payah, dan aku mendorongnya sampai jatuh tersungkur, lalu mengibaskan rambut panjangku. 

"Namaku Maxine," ralatku. "Hanya Jim yang boleh memanggilku Max."

[Flash Fiction] Thank You for Visiting, Come Again!


(Inspired by a dream)

***

It’s been a while since the last time I saw him. He seemed well just now. I still can’t believe my sight, but I’m pretty sure it was him. He still looked the same, not much changes, I guess. 

I can’t remember it clearly what happened just now. I tried recalling it by closing my eyes, and I saw I was on the bus with my family, and when we got off, I remembered my sister called out his name. I turned to the bus, and there he was, getting off the same bus with a flat face. I recalled my sister commenting on his expression which didn’t seem too happy. I wondered what was wrong with him, but above it all, he looked fine.

After that, I can’t remember anything else. Well, I kind of remembered I was with him before we got into the bus. We ordered taco or whatever it was. But it was all blur, until the very last part, before I woke up. Dreams are always like that – strange and blur, but this is my first time being very sure it was him, with the face and all that. Not the best picture, I can barely remember it now, but I’m glad I have this dream – one of the dreams that I can actually remember for a longer time.

It’s been almost five years now, but I can’t say I’m fully healed. The truth is, they lied. Time doesn’t heal. Pain doesn’t goes away. What really happens is, that we get used to the pain, so it doesn’t hurt as it did. But it’s still there, and sometimes, we can still feel it. Like every time I remembered that day, when Mom received a call from Dad’s friend, telling us that God finally called him home and released him from all sufferings in this world.

I can’t be more thankful to God for freeing him, and I learned to let him go since I know it is for his own good. I was hurt, but it means nothing when I remember how happy he will be. I’m always grateful to have such a great father, even just for thirteen years. I hope – I mean, I know you’re doing okay there, Dad. Thanks for visiting my dreamland. We really appreciate your visit. Come again next time! We sure miss you.

[Short Story] I'll Tell Her If You Don't


(Inspired by CSI NY Season 5 Episode 7)

***

"Recognize this picture?"

The man in gray suit puts a piece of photograph on the desk in front of me. I just need to glance at it for a second to identify the mid-40 white man in the picture. I snort as I glare at the man in who is now pulling a chair and sitting on the other side of the table. I bet he knows what my answer will be, so why bother asking?

The man leans on the table between us to stare at me in the eyes. "We found this picture in the victim's pocket, and a similar one in his computer. It was sent from a username ‘Tom1101’ to ‘CaseyXOX’ via an online messenger.  Care to explain, Cassandra? Or should I call you ‘Casey’?"

“Sandra,” I correct him. I glance back at the smiling man in the picture, with white hand-writing written across his face.

I'll tell her if you don't.

I look up to stare straight ahead through the detective at the glass wall behind him.

"You don't want to tell the story? Let me tell it for you, then," the man says in a firm tone. "So, you met this man online and had an affair with him. You didn't know who he was until he sent his picture. Once you found out, you stopped everything right away and sent this photograph to threaten him," he adds a pause. "But since he ignored it, you decided to–"

"If you already knew the whole story," I interrupt him. "Why am I still here? I don't want to waste my time to listen to you boasting about how great you are for solving the case. Just show me where my cell is." I stand up, but the detective stops me from moving any further.

“Sit down, I haven’t finished,” he commands.

I follow his order since I have no other choices. There are two other policemen guarding by the door, ready to stop me whenever.

"Do you know what’s strange about this case?" he asks, and I ignore him, so he continues. "We got everything. Evidences – we got your prints all over the baseball bat, then the MO."

I cross my arms in front of my chest. "So, why am I here? For the statement? Confession?"

The detective flips the paper he's holding. "He wasn't just shot." He puts another picture on the desk, and I look away. "We found bruises all over his body, and they're all post-mortem." I can hear his fingers tapping on the picture – a picture of a beaten dead body with a shotgun wound on his chest. "I understand that you're mad at him, but why beat him up, after shooting him?"

I snort. "To make sure he's dead? You're the detective. It's your job to figure it out."

"You were angry because he was cheating on your mom, but it wasn't strong enough for you to kill him." It was a statement, not a question, so I remain silent. "There's another reason, isn't it?"

The detective searches for my eyes, but I avoid it. "I was just trying to protect my mom. She doesn't deserve being treated like this."

"By killing your own father?"

I glare at him. "He's not my dad. My dad died four years ago," I argue. I make a knuckle and slam it quietly to my chair. "I knew it from the beginning – letting my mom marry that guy was a mistake. Huge mistake. I had tried everything to make her realize it, but she just didn't want to listen."

I glance at the dark glass window. I can’t see anything or anyone, but I know someone is standing there. I just know. So I keep talking with both eyes darted at the glass. "She ignored all my warnings. She said I was making that up because I wasn't ready to replace my dad. This junk-head had criminal records, for crying out loud! But my mom just didn't want to listen. And now, look at her!" I stand up as I point angrily to the glass window. "And what’s more ironic is, even after being beaten up for the whole year, she still didn't do anything about it.”

"So, you decided to take action."

I smile as I sit back on my chair. "He took the bait easily. I bet he was cheating with a lot of women before me."

"You thought if you caught him cheating on your mom, she would ask for divorce." The detective stares at me right in the eyes. "But he caught you first, didn't he?"

My eyes wide-open when I see a man walks into the room angrily with a piece of paper in his hand. He walks towards the girl who’s sitting in front of the computer and forces her to stand up.

“What do you think you’re doing, huh?” The man grasps the girl’s arm tightly and holds up the paper right in front of her eyes. “You’re framing me? You think I’m that stupid?”

The girl doesn’t answer. Out of the sudden, she knocks the man’s head with hers, and pulls a gun out of her drawer as fast as the lightning. “I know you’ve been cheating on her this whole time. You never loved her.” She shakily aims the gun towards the man.

The man smirks as he raises both of his hands. “I love her. Her money.” He laughs sarcastically. “I wonder why she isn’t as smart as her daughter. I guess she’s blinded by love.”

Bang!

The man falls on his knees with blood streaming out from his chest.

My smile appears thinly. "It wasn't a mistake. I don't regret killing him. It's for my mom’s sake after all." I blink my eyes a few time to get back to reality. My memories flashed before my eyes just like it happened right in front of me.

The detective raises his eyebrows. “So, you're telling me that you're trying to protect your mom, by taking her husband away? And now we have to take her daughter too, leaving her all alone. Is that what you called protecting?"

I remain silent, so the detective nods to one of the cops who’s been standing next to the door the whole time, and he asks me to stand up and put my hands behind my back.

I follow all the instructions quietly as the cop handcuffs my hands.

“Isn’t it better?”

The detective, who’s approaching the door, stops his steps and turns to me.

“Now, she’s safe from a lunatic criminal husband and a psycho daughter,” I continue.

The detective shakes his head and leaves. The cop is instructing me to do the same, but before leaving the room, I turn to the glass wall and smile. “Take care, Mom. You’re free now.”

Sunday, 22 February 2015

[Short Story] BUS STOP NO. 10136


Joining : #CoupleGiveaway
Held by : NBC IPB
Status : Didn't Win
Inspired by slight true story


“Duh, telat, telat, telat!"

Aku mempercepat langkah kakiku sambil bolak-balik mengecek jam tangan, tidak menghiraukan rasa pegal yang menggigiti otot-ototku. Aku berbelok ke kanan, dan… Dia tidak ada di sana. Sesuai dugaan, tetapi tidak sesuai harapan. Nafasku terengah-engah saat aku berhenti di sebelah dinding apartemen yang terletak tepat di belakang bus stop tempat aku (dan dia) selalu menunggu bus sepulang kerja. 

Aku menertawakan diri sendiri dalam hati. Ini sangat, sangat konyol. Kami bahkan tidak saling mengenal, tapi aku selalu merelakan diri untuk jalan lebih jauh tanpa memedulikan kakiku yang pegal setelah kerja hanya demi bertemu dengannya di bus stop ini dan menunggu bus bersama.

Aku sudah bekerja di kafe ini selama hampir satu tahun, tapi baru belakangan ini aku menyadari kehadirannya. Mungkin sejak menunggu di bus spot ini hari itu, tiga bulan yang lalu. Dan ya, sekonyol apapun ini terdengar, selama tiga bulan itulah, dia menjadi motivasiku pergi bekerja. Aku jadi tidak terlalu merasa terbebani setiap kali aku mendapat shift lebih banyak, dan jadi selalu menanti-nanti jam pulang kerja untuk bertemu dengannya.

Tentu, dia tidak selalu ada di sana. Entah karena aku terlambat dan busnya sudah datang menjemputnya, atau dia memang tidak datang sama sekali. Entahlah. Seperti yang kubilang, kami tidak saling mengenal. Aku tidak tahu namanya, tidak tahu dari mana dia datang dan kemana dia akan pergi, tidak pernah mendengar suaranya, nihil. Yang kutahu tentangnya sangatlah minim. Aku hanya tahu dia akan muncul dari seberang jalan, dan berhenti di balik dinding ini, tapi tidak tahu dia hendak menuju sebuah tempat dari rumahnya, atau hendak pulang dari suatu tempat. Aku tahu dia selalu naik bus nomor 106, tapi tidak tahu dimana dia akan turun. 

Semakin sering kami bertemu, semakin banyak hal-hal kecil yang kuketahui. Seperti fitur-fiturnya – wajah oval tampannya yang dihiasi jenggot tipis, alis mata tebalnya yang mempertajam kedua mata besarnya, hidung bangirnya, bibir penuhnya yang merah, tato bermotif floral yang menghiasi lengan bawahnya, lalu kostumnya yang tidak jauh berbeda dari hari ke hari – atasannya yang kadang kaos polo hitam atau kaos V-neck tipis, dipadukan dengan skinny jeans dan sepasang snickers biru tua, lalu tas selempang kulit berwarna cokelat. Dia selalu membeli tiket untuk bus tripnya, tidak menggunakan kartu SmartRider yang selalu kugunakan. Dia sesekali akan mengecek iPhone putihnya dan tersenyum sendiri – yang membuatku penasaran setengah mati: apa itu pacarnya?

Yang membuatku semakin tertarik padanya adalah bagaimana dia selalu bolak-balik menoleh ke arahku, seakan-akan sedang mengecekku juga. Aku selalu berdiri di sebelah kirinya, dan bus selalu datang dari sebelah kanan, jadi untung bagiku, aku punya alasan untuk melihat ke arahnya. Tapi dia tidak punya alasan untuk melihat ke arahku selain hanya karena iseng. Masalahnya, dia sering melakukannya, dan kadang, bukan hanya sekilas, tapi memutar kepalanya tepat ke arahku. Tentu, aku tidak mau kegeeran, tapi aku menikmati sensasi manis setiap kali dia menoleh ke arahku. Dia juga sering tersenyum sendiri – senyuman memikat itu, seakan-akan dia menyadari acara saling curi lirik kami dan menikmatinya sebagaimana aku menikmatinya juga. Oh, aku sungguh penasaran apa yang dia rasakan dan pikirkan. Apa dia sadar kami selalu menunggu bus di spot yang sama selama tiga bulan ini?

Dia juga menjadi sumber inspirasiku. Tanpa bisa kuhindari, imajinasi liarku terus-menerus berandai-andai tentang kisah cinta kami. Semacam sitcom atau situation comedy, tapi romance sitrom, yang setiap episodenya hanya berputar di sekitar sepasang cowok-cewek di lokasi yang sama – sejenis cinta lokasi. Entah kisah macam apa yang bisa terjalin, tapi aku sungguh tertarik untuk menggali lebih dalam. 

Saat aku menoleh ke kanan untuk mengecek nomor bus yang datang, betapa kagetnya saat mataku menangkap bayangan familiar yang berdiri tepat di sebelah dinding tempat aku bersandar. Itu dia! Dia maju selangkah untuk mengecek nomor bus yang datang juga, dan aku dapat melihat fiturnya lebih jelas sekarang. Ah, ternyata aku tidak terlambat. Busnya belum datang. Dia hanya ‘tersembunyi’ di balik tembok ini, tidak seperti biasanya – dia selalu berdiri sedikit lebih ke kanan jadi aku langsung dapat melihatnya dari arah aku datang. Sepertinya busnya datang sedikit lebih terlambat dari biasanya. Moodku langsung berubah drastis! 

Busnya sering datang lebih dahulu dari busku, dan hari ini, saat dia melambaikan tangannya untuk menghentikan bus, dia menoleh ke arahku, lalu cepat-cepat menoleh kembali ke arah datangnya bus. Aku bisa merasakan jantungku berhenti berdetak selama momen itu, lalu kembali memompa jauh lebih cepat dari biasanya. Apa-apaan itu? Apa aku hanya berhalusinasi barusan?

Aku tidak tahu perasaan apa yang sebenarnya kurasakan untuknya, tapi aku memang menikmatinya, jadi aku memutuskan untuk meneruskannya, dan bahkan mengambil langkah lebih jauh. Suatu hari, aku ikut naik ke bus yang sama dengannya. Tentu saja aku tidak bermaksud untuk menjadi penguntit gila. Aku memang ingin ke perpustakaan umum dan kebetulan aku harus naik bus yang sama. Tujuan keduanya memang ingin melihat dia turun dimana, tapi sayangnya, aku turun duluan. Tidak sia-sia, karena saat aku turun, aku bisa merasakan tatapannya ke arahku. Aku juga sempat mendengar suaranya saat sedang membeli tiket. Seperti yang kubayangkan, suaranya pun tampan.

Selain itu, tidak ada banyak perkembangan lain. Hanya sesekali, di hari beruntungku, aku sampai tepat saat dia hendak menyeberang jalan. Atau ada satu kali, dia datang dari arah lain, dari sebelah kiriku, dan saat kami hendak berpapasan, dia berhenti di tengah jalan untuk mengecek handphonenya, membiarkanku berjalan melewatinya. Entah apa tujuannya melakukan itu. Tidak mau kegeeran, tapi tanpa bisa dicegah, aku berharap yang aneh-aneh. Habisnya, aneh saja dia tiba-tiba berhenti di tengah jalan begitu.

Tentu saja aku juga berandai-andai, bagaimana kisah ini akan berakhir? Aku tidak terpikir hal apapun yang akan mengubah semua ini – alasan untuk memulai percakapan atau apapun itu. Kurasa kami akan selamanya seperti ini – dua orang yang tidak saling mengenal, berdiri bersebelahan di bus stop yang sama, hanya dibatasi sebuah tembok, dan saling curi pandang.

Sayangnya, kami tidak bisa selamanya begitu. Aku kira aku masih punya setidaknya satu-dua tahun lagi sebelum aku pindah kerjaan. Tapi ternyata takdir berkata lain. Shiftku berubah, jadi aku tidak pulang di jam yang sama. Tanpa aba-aba, semuanya berakhir begitu saja.

Selamat tinggal, pria tampan penunggu bus nomor 106, sumber inspirasi sitromku. Sampai kita jumpa lagi (jika Tuhan berkehendak)!

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

[Flash Fiction] Sampai Kita Ketemu Lagi (THEME TWO)



Held by : Tiket.com and nulisbuku.com 
Status : Didn't Win
Inspired by Seribu Tahun Lamanya (song) by Tulus


Aku menghentikan langkahku tepat di depan sebuah batu nisan yang masih tampak baru. Tentu saja, karena penghuninya memang baru di kubur seminggu yang lalu. Aku meletakkan sebuket bunga di atas kuburan sahabatku itu, lalu mengelus batu nisannya pelan.

"Maaf aku tidak datang ke upacara penguburanmu," ucapku pelan. Setitik air mata berhasil lolos dan mengaliri pipiku. Gagal kutahan. "Salahmu sendiri, melanggar janjimu." Aku menarik nafas dalam-dalam, berusaha menahan sisa tangisku yang tidak habis-habis sejak seminggu yang lalu.

Aku mendesah saat mengingat janji yang kami buat tujuh tahun yang lalu. "Aku tidak akan pernah meninggalkanmu, apapun yang terjadi," janjinya saat itu.

Aku kembali mendesah. Aku tahu kematian itu tidak bisa dihindari, tapi aku tidak menyangka akan secepat ini. "Ini tidak adil, kau tahu? Aku yakin kau ada di tempat yang jauh lebih baik sekarang, meninggalkanku sendiri di dunia kejam ini."

Tentu aku tahu aku tidak akan mendapat balasan dari sahabatku yang sudah terbaring damai di bawah tanah dan rohnya sudah terangkat ke surga, tapi setelah berbicara langsung padanya, aku merasa lebih lega. "Well, apa boleh buat. Aku tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa untuk mendapatkanmu kembali. Kau baik-baik ya, di sana." Setelah menatapi batu nisan sahabat terbaikku itu untuk yang terakhir kali, aku pun bangkit berdiri, hendak meninggalkan tempat itu sebelum aku merasa semakin sedih.

Belum sempat aku berbalik, mataku menangkap secari kertas terselip di balik batu nisan tersebut. Itu bisa saja sampah, tapi tulisan yang tertulis di atasnyalah yang meyakinkanku untuk memungut dan membuka lipatannya.

Dear Anita,

Sebelumnya, aku mohon jangan marah. Aku tahu aku telah melanggar janjiku, walaupun kita berdua tahu, kematian bukanlah pilihan. Tapi jelas kamu pantas marah, karena aku tidak pernah menyebut-nyebut soal penyakitku ini, bahkan sampai di akhir. Dan fakta kalau aku telah menyiapkan surat ini membuktikan kalau aku sudah punya firasat aku akan meninggalkanmu, membuat segalanya jadi jauh lebih buruk. Tapi beri aku kesempatan untuk menjelaskan dan memperbaiki semuanya, oke?

Aku tidak memberitahumu tentang penyakitku karena aku tidak mau kamu khawatir. Klise? Tapi itulah kenyataannya. Dan aku senang, karena sampai di akhir pun kita masih sama seperti dulu, tidak berubah hanya karena penyakit bodoh ini. Aku menulis surat ini bukan karena aku tahu aku akan meninggalkanmu, tapi karena aku ingin memberitahumu kalau aku tidak melanggar janjiku.

Aku tidak meninggalkanmu sendiri, Nit. Aku akan selalu ada dimanapun kamu berada - di hatimu. Ingat waktu aku menyanyikan lagu kesukaan kita di prom? Kamu tahu kan, aku menyanyikannya untukmu? Dan aku memaknai setiap kata dalam liriknya. Aku sungguhan rela menunggu seribu tahun lamanya, walaupun maut telah menjemputku. Aku masih bisa terus menunggu setelah itu, kan? Jadi, kau juga harus menunggu, sampai kita ketemu lagi.


Love,

Jerome

Aku menghapus jejak air mataku dengan satu tangan. "Tidak," ucapku pelan. "Aku tidak tahu kamu menyanyikannya untukku, Jer." Aku menatap batu nisan di hadapanku lekat-lekat. "Tapi aku senang kamu mau nunggu, walaupun seharusnya tidak perlu selama itu. Sekarang gantian aku yang harus menunggu, deh. Walaupun sampai seribu tahun."

[Flash Fiction] Love You Till It Hurts (THEME ONE)



Held by : Tiket.com and nulisbuku.com 
Status : Didn't Win
Inspired by You're Not the Only One (song) by Sam Smith


"Beri aku satu alasan saja  mengapa aku tidak bisa meninggalkanmu sekarang juga."

Pria di hadapanku berdiri tepat di sebelah ranjangku, menundukkan kepalanya untuk menatapku, yang sedang berbaring terlentang di atas ranjang, lurus-lurus. Aku tersenyum penuh kemenangan di balik senyuman lemahku. "Karna kalau tidak, semua orang akan mengira kaulah pembunuhku."

Ekspresi dingin pria tersebut terbakar amarah dalam sekejap. "Tapi kau jelas-jelas masih hidup!"

Senyumanku melebar. "Dengan keadaan seperti ini? Kau tetap akan dihukum berat. Dan semua orang akan mendengarkan apapun yang keluar dari mulutku. Mereka belum tahu cerita aslinya, kau tahu? Semua masih berasumsi."

Pria itu menggertakkan giginya. "Kau..." Ia tidak bisa menyelesaikan kalimatnya.

"Aku pantas melakukan ini, kau tahu? Sekarang, kau sepenuhnya menjadi milikku, seperti yang seharusnya, sebelum pelacur itu merusak segalanya." Aku menyandarkan kepalaku lebih dalam di atas bantal, menikmati berbagai rasa sakit yang menusukku dari berbagai bagian tubuhku. Setidaknya satu bagian terpenting tidak lagi tersakiti - hatiku. 

Aku ingat betapa sakitnya hatiku saat pertama kali melihat pria yang begitu kucintai ini melanggar sumpah nikahnya padaku dengan mencium bibir si pelacur itu di depan mata kepalaku sendiri. Saat itu aku sudah terlalu curiga pada suamiku yang tiba-tiba jadi super sibuk itu, dan akhirnya aku mendapat jawaban dari pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang menghantui benakku. Rasa sakitnya memang menghilang seiring berjalannya waktu, terbakar habis oleh rasa amarah dan dendam, lalu digantikan rasa semangat saat merancang rencana brilian ini. Dan rasa sakit itu sepenuhnya sirna setelah semuanya berjalan sesuai rencana.

"Aku benar-benar tidak mengerti." Pria itu mengembalikan jiwaku ke masa sekarang. "Mengapa dulu aku bisa jatuh cinta pada wanita segila kau?"

Tatapanku turun menyusuri luka-luka di tangan dan kakiku, yang semuanya disebabkan oleh diriku sendiri. "Ini bukti dalamnya cintaku padamu, kau tahu? Dan seharusnya kau mencintaiku sedalam ini juga," ujarku pelan. Ya, saking cintanya aku pada pria ini, aku rela melupakan kesalahannya demi mendapatkannya kembali. Saking cintanya, aku rela melukai diriku lebih dalam demi memperbaiki hubungan rumah tangga kami.

Suamiku mendengus sinis. "Saking cintanya, kau sengaja menyabotase 'penculikan dan pembunuhan'-mu sampai seakan-akan akulah pelakunya? Aku hampir dipenjara tanpa bukti konkrit akan mayatmu hanya karena semua bukti lain menunjukku sebagai pelaku!"

Senyumanku menjadi sedikit lebih sinis. "Tapi aku kembali untuk menyelamatkanmu! Aku rela membunuh penganiayaku demi kabur dan kembali padamu."

"Itu ceritamu," sahut suamiku dingin. "Aku tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. Aku tidak sebodoh mereka. Kau yang merencanakan semua ini. Sengaja membuatku sebagai pelaku utama agar semua orang membenciku, termasuk Marni yang langsung pergi meninggalkanku. Itu tujuan utamamu, kan? Menyingkirkan dan menghukumku? kenapa kau kembali, hah? Kenapa pakai acara pura-pura kau memang diculik dan dianiaya orang lain dan berhasil kabur? Kenapa tidak membiarkan aku mati busuk saja dipenjara?"

Aku pun tersenyum lembut. "Sudah kubilang kan, aku cinta padamu? Aku rela melakukan apapun untuk memilikimu kembali."

Monday, 16 February 2015

[Reading Challenge] 2015 Reading Challenge by Pop Sugar

Hi, everyone. A new year is coming, and usually I would just have regular reading challenge - from other bloggers or just set up my own - how many books in a year, but a friend of mine challenged me with a new reading challenge, and it looks tempting, so why not try a new more challenging thing? 

(http://9gag.com/gag/a8bQeNe)

Pretty cool, eh? Well, I've had one of these this year, but not as long. You know, the Lucky No. 14 Reading Challenge. Now, I want to make the list of books to read for this challenge like I've done before. 

1. A book with more than 500 pages

I have a lot now. One of Twilight Saga series - Eclipse and Breaking Dawn which I haven't finished could be on the list.

2. A classic romance

Honestly, this is not my genre anymore, but I'll try. Pride and Prejudice, perhaps? Since my sister got one.

3. A book that became a movie

This is easy. I have tons. Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Maze Runner Trilogy. Gone Girl. Like I said, tons.

4. A book published this year

This is also easy. I bet I will buy a new book next year and read it straight away.

5. A book with a number in the title

For this one I need to check my to-read list to see if I have any. I have about 38 books on that list, and I think only Thirteen Steps Down that got number on the title. That will do.

6. A book written by someone under 30

Easy. I reckon one of the books I read would have that. Indonesian author, I guess. American or others usually have older author. I'll put in the book title once I've read the book.

7. A book with nonhuman characters

Duh. Vampires and werewolves in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Grievers in Maze Runner...

8. A funny book

I bet one of the books in my list must be a funny one. Like Dreadfully Deadly Histories.

9. A book by female author

I think I'm tired of mentioning the same books over and over again.can you guess? Yes, Stephenie Meyer who wrote Eclipse and Breaking Dawn is female. Gilliam Flynn who wrote Gone Girl is female. Ruth Rendell who wrote Thirteen Steps Down is female.

10. A mystery or thriller

Two words: Gone Girl. I also have The Complete Sherlock Holmes. I wanna see if I can finish that thick book in a year.

11. A book with one-word title

Eclipse. Okay, let's try something else. Aerial. Redfang. Hailstorm. Reputation. Magnificent. Impossible. Forgiven. Metropolis. You choose.

12. A book of short stories

My own, perhaps? Cinta Hari Gini. Aku Baik-Baik Saja. Or The Complete Sherlock Holmes. The Naked Traveler Anthology. 

13. A book set in a different country

Different than mine? Easy, then. Most of the books in my list is not set in Australia. So, either one will do.

14. A nonfiction book

The Dreadfully Deadly Histories is nonfiction. Or Life Traveler. The Naked Traveler Anthology...etc. Just need to pick one of the other.

15. A popular author's first book

I was thinking of Gillian Flynn's Sharp Objects since she is popular now, but I don't have it. Might as well choose another. Maybe Twilight, but I have to reread.

16. A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet

Easy (again). Orizuka's The Shaman. I might have more.

17. A book a friend recommended

Maze Runner is one of them.

18. A Pulitzer Prize-winning book

Let's see. I have to check for this. Yes! Gone Girl is in! Easy.

19. A book based on true story

Hmm, Gone Girl? Lol, that'd be too creepy. Twilight Saga or Maze Runner would be as well. So it goes to Surat Untukmu Sahabat.

20. A book at the bottom of your to-read list

I think it's one of Ruth Rendell's that I have, or the book for number 19 above.

21. A book your mom loves

THIS is tricky. My mom doesn't really read... Oh, well. We'll figure something out.

22. A book that scares you

I think it's my only horror novel: Aku Tahu Kamu Hantu.

23. A book more than 100 years old

At first this looks tricky, but then I remember the Bible. I do plan to finish reading it. A year will do. 

24. A book based entirely on its cover

Hmm, let me think... I'm seriously not sure about this. I'd know after reading it. Aerial, perhaps?

25. A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't

Wait, is this asking me to read my school text books? Lol. I don't really have any book I needed to read back then... Didn't I? Hmm... Probably one of Ruth Rendell's. I've got them since high school but never really read them. 

26. A memoir

Life Traveler or The Naked Traveler Anthology? 

27. A book you can finish in a day

Agatha Christie's Miss Marple: The Complete Novels in One Sitting! It says one sitting after all.

28. A book with antonyms in the title

Deary me, what's this? Is there any? I can't think of one. Will update this later.

29. A book set somewhere you always wanted to visit

Tons, since I want to visit a lot of places, so I'll just name it later.

30. A book that came out the year you were born

Tricky, cause I don't read old books - yes, I'm saying that 18 years old is old - it says for itself. But then again, I'm happy to announce, after doing so,e research, I found out that Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook is apparently as old as I am. Now I have more excuse to read it. But I have to buy it and add one more book to my list. Oh, well.... 

31. A book with bad reviews

I feel like passing this one. We'll see.

32. A trilogy

Maze Runner!

33. A book from your childhood

This is also old. Maybe one of the fairy tales. Alice in Wonderland? I do want to buy one of the repackaged version. It looks cute!

34. A book with a love triangle 

Yup, you know the name. Eclipse.

35. A book set in the future

Maze Runner? Yep.

36. A book set in high school

One of the Glam Girls series, I bet, like Impossible, Magnificent, Reputation... Or others like Satin Merah can do.

37. A book with a color in the title

I feel like an old lady who keeps repeating herself. Satin Merah. 

38. A book that made you cry

Reread? Autumn in Paris or Sunshine Becomes You, I guess. Or I For You. That'd be fun. I wanna know if I'd cry again. It's been awhile since the last time a book made me cry. 

39. A book with magic

No, I'm not reading Harry Potter. I'd find something else. Maybe reread Beautiful Creatures? But that'd be a pain... Vandaria Saga should have magic, or Aerial seems to do.

40. A graphic novel 

Only one that came to mind: Oblivion. Hope to get it somewhere.

41. A book by an author you've never read before

Easy. Gone Girl. Maze Runner. And tons of others. You name it. 

42. A book you own but have never read 

So all this time, what have I been talking about? Thirty. Eight. On. The. List. Baby.

43. A book that takes place in your hometown

Define "hometown". I'll take it as Batam, so I have to reread School: Chemistry, cause what else? My own writing? Nah. 

44. A book that was originally written in a different language 

Translation? Maybe Indonesian version of The Host that my bestie gave as my 17th birthday gift? Or the Bible will do, too. 

45. A book set during Christmas

Naming this later would probably be best.

46. A book written by an author with your same initials

AA? ... Who can this be?

47. A play

I have tons to read from one of my previous course. Or I can finally look at Shakespeare. 

48. A banned book 

Now this is hard. Where can I get banned books? All I think of is the library in Beautiful Creatures. Hmm, can this be book that was banned? Cause I know some. Like Alice in Wonderland... The Bible... 

49. A book based on or turned into TV show

Hmm, this is rare for me... Wait, not really. Sherlock Holmes?

50. A book you started but never finished

Harta Vaeran, but that's my friend's - and you know what's funny? This friend is the same friend who gave me this challenge.... Or Thirteen Steps Down will do, too. Or even David Levithan's The Lover's Dictionary. 

I haven't figured out all the books for each category, and currently, I used one book for some categories, but it may change. And I might be taking it slow....


UPDATED version! This time I'm making it clear which book I read for which category. Let's see...

1. A book with more than 500 pages: Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
2. A classic romance: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
3. A book that became a movie: The Maze Runner by James Dashner
4. A book published this year: (don't know yet. soon)
5. A book with a number in the title: Thirteen Steps Down by Ruth Rendell

6. A book written by someone under 30: Fight for Love by Orizuka
7. A book with nonhuman characters: Redfang bu Fachrul 
8. A funny book: Cinta Hari Gini by Various Authors (including me!)
9. A book by female author: Priceless Moment by Prisca Primasari
10. A mystery or thriller: And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

11.  A book with one-word title: Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
12. A book of short stories: The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
13. A book set in a different country: First Time in Beijing by Riawani Elyta
14. A nonfiction book: The Bible by Scott Petty 
15. A popular author's first book: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (hopefully)

16. A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet: The Shaman by Orizuka
17. A book a friend recommended: Forgiven by Morra Quatro
18. A Pulitzer Prize-winning book: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
19. A book based on true story: Surat Untukmu Sahabat by Bunga Nizam
20. A book at the bottom of your to-read list: Nomadic Heart by Ariy

21. A book your mom loves: (THIS is tricky. My mom doesn't really read... Oh, well. We'll figure something out.)
22. A book that scares you: Aku Tahu Kamu Hantu by Eve Shi
23. A book more than 100 years old: The Bible by God :D
24. A book based entirely on its cover: (Not sure about this yet. I'd know after reading it.)
25. A book you were supposed to read in school but didn't: A Sight For Sore Eyes by Ruth Rendell

26. A memoir: The Life Traveler by Windy Ariestanty
27. A book you can finish in a day: Miss Marple: The Complete Novels in One Sitting by Agatha Christie!
28. A book with antonyms in the title: Is The Death Cure considered as one?
29. A book set somewhere you always wanted to visit: Casablanca by Dahlian
30. A book that came out the year you were born: The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (hopefully)

31. A book with bad reviews: Monte Carlo by Arumi
32. A trilogy: The Maze Runner trilogy!
33. A book from your childhood: Malin Kundang (hopefully)
34. A book with a love triangle: Oppa and I by Orizuka
35. A book set in the future: The Scorch Trials by James Dashner

36. A book set in high school:  Impossible by Nina Ardianti 
37. A book with a color in the title: Satin Merah by Bram and Ninit (P.S. Merah is red in Indonesian)
38. A book that made you cry: Autumn in Paris by Ilana Tan (hopefully)
39. A book with magic: Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia (hopefully)
40. A graphic novel: Oblivion by Joseph Kosinski (hopefully)

41. A book by an author you've never read before: One of Sherlock Holmes stories by Arthur Conan Doyle
42. A book you own but have never read: Heart Attack by Clara Canceriana
43. A book that takes place in your hometown: School: Chemistry by aL dHimas
44. A book that was originally written in a different language: The Host (Indonesian translation) by Stephenie Meyer (hopefully)
45. A book set during Christmas: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (hopefully)

46. A book written by an author with your same initials: The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga (perhaps? Hopefully)
47. A play: Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare (hopefully)
48. A banned book: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carol (hopefully)
49. A book based on or turned into TV show: One of Sherlock Holmes stories by Arthur Conan Doyle
50. A book you started but never finished: The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

Now, how's this for starters? Wish me luck! I've set Goodreads bookshelf for this to help me focus on this challenge, too! :D